Confidence

"If I can just get more confident, then I'll try it."

This idea -- that confidence needs to come before we try things -- is a huge obstacle to growth and a misunderstanding of how we build confidence.

If you have to feel confident first, you're less likely to try new things. You're less likely to step outside your comfort zone. You're less likely to experience your own courage, aka taking steps towards your goals despite fear and anxiety.

Mitchie Brusco has 14 medals at X-Games skateboarding events like the mega-ramp. He knows a thing or two about being anxious and building confidence, and here's what he says on the topic in just 22 seconds.

As a clinical psychologist and somebody who helps people build the skills -- and take the risks -- necessary to have closer relationships, I couldn't agree more.

If you find yourself holding back from being more open, from letting yourself be vulnerable, or from taking thoughtful emotional risks, because you're waiting to feel comfortable and confident first, then I'd encourage you to remember Mitchie's message: You have to "do" your way into confidence.